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Coffee Shop Blog

Daily Musings

Green Hill & Green Tea

“The more things change the more they stay the same.” – `A random on FaceBook

You can’t deny there is more truth to that then we’d like them to be, especially given act every few weeks during this Lockdown debacle there has been a villain needed in any form it can be found.

People seem to have this deep desire to place blame and chase the monster.

Regardless of the legitimacy of said monster, the mob needs to put its pitchforks, torches and seething hatred to be aimed at.

It’s all getting rather tiresome.

Sitting outside on a small hill with a well made home brew many options fly in and out of mind as it searches for what would be the swiftest, easiest and less hassle creating way to exit the world.

Don’t worry though, one hasn’t been found as of yet due to the hardship of simply disappearing in this modern age being somewhat of an impossibility. To do such a thing would have people find a way to have you as the monster for whatever reason because I feel we’ve simply lost the understanding or perhaps acceptance that someones people have just grown so tired of it all there is little effort or desire left.

Funny thing is that knowing various people that end up in the same headspace, and the simple element that we’re all still on the grid reveals something quite fascinating; it’s not so much about disappearing as it is about wanting to separate from the bullshit that is ‘modern life’ where you can be in the right, underserving of hardship, torture or torment and yet one of it’s most frequent customers.

Oh well, fate will come knocking once again as it always does. Carry same style of bullshit in hand with a swift kick to the groin for good measure too.

One day the right avenue will be found to quietly and calms slip out of peoples minds and perhaps find some peace.

Until then, long walks and coffee will be the recompense.

Instant Coffee

Do you know what, there is a high chance that coffee shops will be less frequent once they all reopen and the hysterical fear that grips people is gone.

Now since the medical profession, or in fact anything scientific isn’t in the wheelhouse behind this screen the whole COVID situation won’t be delved into because it’s be like a dog trying o explain astrophysics to a hamster.

Each morning there has been some sort of kettlebell training (swings, snatches, long cycle, things like that) for a 20min block of time mots days and every 4/5th day will be a  longer 45-75min session, then back indoors to get some writing and bits done.

Of course there is coffee, and what seemed like an endless amount of the free hotel variety is actually almost all gone which is quite a surprise really.

It has to be said though that there is something oddly satisfying about making your own instant coffee (ha, yep, the cheap stuff) and cracking on with your day, because after spending so many years getting up, walking to a coffee shop and essentially doing the same it seemed more like something that one just ‘did’ as opposed to really enjoyed.

Once that part of the day is done a walk for a couple of hours is next.

This is the only time to see of other people and get a glimpse at how they’re dealing with the new world order. To some it seems whatever guidelines are in place are ignored, to others they’ve taken them to the nth degree and there there’s people like us that are quite indifferent to it all.

The modern worlds are quite hypocritical really, many only really care not because they’ve been inconvenienced, which they’d not admit for fear of being burnt at the steak.

As for me, given how little has changed it’s really shown what a solitary life I have.

 

Who needs coffee

Wandering alone in the rain the usual company known as ‘Ancient iPod Classic’ died.

Well, the battery ran of out juice, so instead of a deep book or scientific literature there was nothing other than raindrops and the sound of one foot falling in front of the other breaking the silence.

Not a single soul, just rain & footsteps.

 

Filters

Two things have stood out on this coffee shop visit.

1 – The homeless man who took a half smoked cigarette from an ashtray to smoke.

2 – The person who severed me was very rude for no apparent reason.

The first part i can kind of understand, after all, waste not want not. When it comes to staff being rude though, give when you’re employed in such an establishment your literally paid to be nice to people one would think their proclivity toward acting like a stick has been placed up their rectum would be avoided.

Alas that is not our world.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had days where my attitude would upset many, or at least when I was a teenage dirtbag and a true rebel without a clue. These days if that attitude creeps out it’s because of delineate choice due to the person being interacted with.

Oh well, with any luck their day will get better from here on.

 

Skinny GOW

Change your look and see the eyes of the people around you change too.

One having a look more akin to that of a boy-band member to something closer to Kratos from GOW, all be it skinner, has certainly had some different glares come my way.

While many will say it’s what’s on the inside that counts, you can see by our proclivity to judge instantly that isn’t quite the case.

Of course not true for everyone, just the majority.

The weekend just gone I found myself in a place where being different is actually the norm. No longer are you unique in who you look, dress, act, speak or carry yourself, on no. In this location you were just one of the rest, and someone like me was the odd one out, which was quite the novelty.

The funny part was in that the oppressed, or self proclaimed oppressed who’d gathered were quite quick to judge me, pass comment and be generally hostile. While I hold nothing against them personally because I’m sure people of my ilk have caused them many trouble one they years with intolerant attitudes and ignorance, the irony wasn’t wasted.

On the path to confront and abolish that which we hate or despise ti’s quite funny how often we end up replacing them.

Sometimes even becoming them, all be it a version with a cooler swapped pallet.

In a world where there’s nothing new to be seen can we really be surprise anymore.

6

Our modern world filled with struggle and stress will never end or offer much in the way of reprieve because that’s just not the way.

People will drag you into their misery because if they must suffer then so should everyone else, or at least anyone they can drag down with them.

So much corruption.

The double standards, the hypocrisy and exemptions made based on circumstance or personal situation, the only fairness and equality is that it’s inherently unfair. A truth no one is willing to admit.

As each day passes and I age ever more slowly I find time around me dilates, revealing things I’d seen and yet ignored willingly because ignorance is the best alibi. Expect it isn’t it’s just ignorance in the end, wilful ignorance at that.

When no more tears are left, or have even been shed in years it has you see the world through different eyes.

Dried, cracked, painful and angry.

Seeing that people will always be out for themselves first, and try s you might to give the benefit of the doubt in the hope you can believe their lies all while knowing deeply exactly what they are, we invite the chaos in to consume us.

I wish to scream and have the ethos reverberate and render everything around me to nothing more than ashes and ruin, yet that’s nothing more than immature escapism because we don’t live in a world where that is remotely possible.

Instead we sit quietly typing away always the while screaming silently at the top of our lungs deafening our mind, drawing out our thoughts and having everyone around us be none the wiser.

How truly selfish we are, even the self proclaimed selfless, selfish to the core.

My anger, my rage, my frustration, like yours they simmer away and slow decay everything from the inside out. Peel back the porcelain layers and all you’ll find is rot.

A soul long since dead with nothing good left.

The worst truth of all though is those lingering words almost forgotten that mark the moment my innocent soul and in fact I truly died – “I’m too young to deal with this.”

 

 

Wearily Walking

Matt, that is his name.

A real life Hodor you might say, walking along without a care in the world, yet you can see the visible pain he’s in.

Due to many years of being on the larger side, his body is now failing him.

Both legs now heavily warped in compression bandages, his hair unkempt, the skin above a dark purple and his cheeks a raw red. It’s a sight that makes you stop and think, well, if you knew him personally that is.

Once upon a time working as a teenager doing nights at the same place he once worked you’d find him going about his business, diligently working with now larger desire for more. He was just happy to be there.

I feel those of us caught up in our own drama could learn quire a lot form someone like him.

Now even with his appearance, and lack of formal education he’s not what you’d call stupid, not by any means. You see there as something he possessed that many of us don’t, nor ever will, the ability to sit and listen. To observe what was going on around, quietly, peacefully and without negative or positive bias, you might even say he was embracing the Tao and living each moment as it was intended to be.

As he board the bus to travel what I can only imagine is back home I being to reminisce and wonder.

The subtle acts of kindness, the thankless things done, each and every time leave a mark.

While many will do such things and fulfil a level of self validation and appreciation I’d wager that Matt simply did what he did because he could and truly never thought of anything further, perhaps a true selfless combination of acts.

I could be wrong, given this is merely the view from nan outsider looking in and someone watching from the corner of a room surrounded by those equally as fortunate in life, then again, I’d like to think that there is still some divinity left in this world and that is oems in the form of the people your never see, yet are always there.

The Lounge

It’s been a while since I last came here for an evening coffee.

Nothings changed.

Many faces are the same, the hipsters huddle in the corner, lumberjacks or hat I presume are lumberjacks judging by their beards, flannel and demeanour of Odin are chugging beer like tap water. To be fair they could also be hipsters. ladies ready to paint the town red are starting their night and slowly upping their decibels each ‘Aaahhhhhh’ as more of their crowd joins. We also have some seasoned patrons on ‘their’ table which has an impressive 5 bottles of wine, with more on the way, for them of hick to sample and share reverence.

Then you’ve got muggins here, sat alone people watching and firing a friendly smile at anyone that makes contact, just how I like it.

Loner is probably the most descriptive word that fits my habits.

With no distractions thoughts can come and go as they please. I can watch what goes on, see each story unfold and ponder how it will end.

One of the most charming features here are the candles that occupy each table, although none of them have tinsel on this year, probably for the best as a few set a light this time 365 days ago.

Speaking of candles, have you ever just sat and stared into their flames?

The longer you look the deeper you succumb to how mesmerising they really are because they seem so alive, or at least as anything as subtle as a candle flame can be that is.

Seeing each layer of heat that radiates through, the hue comping off the edges and tip formed to a near perfect point. It’s funny to think that as a child I had one half of my face completely engulfed in a wayward flam that flared out of a bonfire, and something that should hold such fear merely makes it all the more enticing.

Truly fascinating.

Do you ever sit down to people watch and get lost in something else?

New Year Yesterday

The new year has already started, at least for those of us that have a vision.

Do you find yourself looking to the horizon and zeroing in on one thing to find that you now have a focus that wasn’t there before. A sudden ignition as it were.

Keeping this in mind will be the hard part, however growth is the only real thing aware to us in this life, or rather the only opportunity awarded to us all and how far we take it is merely something we could do, as opposed to something we must do.

Starting around the McDonalds I’m currently sat in my mind begins to wander and wonder.

How many other people know their desired outcome for for 2020 at the very minimum level?

What do you wish for yourself, for those you will affect by your decisions and all those you’ll never even see.

You may have heard people say the future is tomorrow, or maybe even the the future is today, it’s happening right now. To me the future is already in the past, we just missed it because to try be able to think that far ahead and harness the energy you need to create or grasp the opportunities given to you would be astronomical, at least for our conscious mind.

It is in this knowledge that we must trust in our subconscious, it sees and knows more than we ever will.

Placing our faith in it is a must.

Yet to give yourself willingly to that which you can’t truly understand and pray it has the best intentions for you is truly frightening, in my experience though that’s almost a guaranteed certainty that it’s exactly what must be done.

Fear, embrace it and rise to new heights. All you need is a little faith.

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